Congratulations on your promotion! Welcome to the Away Team.
You've just been issued the official uniform of the bravest, most... adventurous members of Starfleet. This bold, vibrant red t-shirt signifies your vital role in Security or Engineering. It’s a symbol of courage, duty, and a statistical probability that you won't be returning from this week's mission to Ceti Alpha V. But you'll look fantastic meeting that salt monster!
Crafted from 100% combed and ring-spun cotton, this shirt is designed for maximum comfort during your brief but memorable career. It's soft, lightweight, and pre-shrunk, so it will maintain its shape even when you're vaporized by a mysterious energy cloud. The side-seamed construction is flattering for all life forms and ensures you look your best for your heroic, five-minute appearance.
Standard Issue Specifications (Read Before Beaming Down):
Department Color: Red (Obviously).
Material: 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester for added resistance to non-corporeal beings).
Durability: Pre-shrunk fabric with shoulder-to-shoulder taping. Not guaranteed to be phaser-proof. Or claw-proof.
Fit: Flattering, comfortable, and perfect for yelling "Captain, look out!" right before the credits roll.
Likely Mission Assignment: Investigating strange energy readings, confronting a Gorn, guarding a suspicious-looking rock.
Disclaimer: Geek Dad Fashion is not responsible for disintegration, assimilation, or being declared "expendable." Wear this shirt with pride. Live long and... well, good luck.
